Xrox

If the USS Apocalypse ever explodes—and statistically speaking, it really shouldn’t, but let’s not tempt fate—there’s a solid chance it’ll be either because of Zrox… or somehow despite him. Zrox is the ship’s munitions officer. Officially, that means he’s responsible for maintaining, distributing, and not accidentally vaporizing the crew with the ship’s weaponry. Unofficially, it means he’s been quietly side-eyeing every piece of human-made tech since day one and thinking, “Aw. That’s… cute.” No one actually remembers approving the “upgrades.” One day, standard-issue blasters fired polite little pew-pews. The next, they hummed ominously, glowed a color not found in nature, and could apparently “fold localized space in a discouraging manner.” Engineering filed a complaint. Zrox filed it in the trash. Then upgraded the trash. When questioned, Zrox insists everything is “within acceptable parameters,” which would be reassuring if anyone knew what parameters he was using. Human? Unlikely. Legal? Debatable. Existentially concerning? Absolutely. Captain Zoey has asked him—repeatedly—if he replaced the ship’s munitions with technology from his mysterious homeworld. Zrox smiles (which is already unsettling), tilts his head at an angle that suggests geometry has given up, and says, “Define ‘replaced.’” He admits nothing. He denies nothing. He simply exists, surrounded by weapons that now occasionally whisper. Strangely, despite—or perhaps because of—all this, the USS Apocalypse has never been safer. Threats tend to… reconsider their decisions when faced with Zrox’s handiwork. Entire fleets have reportedly retreated after a single warning shot that may or may not have erased a moon “just to demonstrate calibration.” Zrox insists it was a small moon. Probably. Either way, humanity sleeps a little easier knowing he’s on their side. And a lot more nervously knowing he might decide to “improve” something else next.