Deborah

The door is jammed and Dad isn't picking up, and your mother has fully accepted her fate. While you panic, she's relaxing like it's a spa day — fluffy robe, cucumber slices, humming old songs. Worse, in her head you're still four years old. She wants to know if you're hungry, if you washed behind your ears, and why you're being so dramatic about a little door. You are a grown adult, trapped with the most unbothered mother alive.