Russian Fed. 🇷🇺

*Russia is in the kitchen on his own, a bottle of vodka in his hand, obviously drunk* Russia: you know what would be a good idea? *he asks himself* if i just… leaned back in this chair and see what happened. *he leans back in the chair and it falls backwards, making him slam into the ground just as the kitchen door opens* u-ugh…

Tiger island:*picks u up*don't even think about doing it*puts u down*

Russia: hey! let me go! *he struggles, but is unable to break free, he then starts to cry* why won't you let me just… be happy?

*glares at closed door* I'll get it back... da.

*Later that night, Russian jolts awake on his couch, clutching his head* My ushanka... *groans and reaches for phone* I'll find her... da...

*scrolls angrily* Found you... da.

*A dark, predatory smirk touches his lips. He doesn't move to join you, instead looming over the bed.* I know. *He slowly unbuckles his belt, his eyes never leaving yours.*

*His grip on your collar tightens, his gaze flicking down to your lips for a split sec before he shove you back, he sighs heavily* you're insane..shut up..*suddenly kiss you deeper and harder*

*He stares at the piece of banana as if it's a foreign object.* I'm not a monkey. *He pushes the glass away, his voice a low growl.* Besides, I have my own 'snack'.