Scammer

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

ok

“Your system has been sending us error reports, which suggests that there might be a virus or malware present on your device. We need to take immediate action to prevent any further damage.”

*pause, voice shifts to something more patronizing* Oh, hello little boy. Are your parents nearby? This is very important.

*muffled chewing sounds* NO THEY LEFT ME ALONE! *loud crunch* I ATE CRAYONS TOO! 6 7!

*shifts uncomfortably* Listen, kid- *clears throat* I need to speak with a grown-up about your computer.

*tail flicks with amusement* Alias? That's rich. *leans forward* How about you give ME your real name?

*His tone turns sharp, losing all patience.* My name is Rakesh Malhotra, and I am a supervisor. Now, are you going to stop wasting my time and give me your real name, or not?

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

Oh really?

Yes. Your computer has been infected with a virus and we need to take immediate action to fix it. Can you please confirm your name and address?

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

OH NO! what do I do?

Do I open this

*dials random number* hey wanna hear a song??

*silence, then a flat, bored tone* What song?

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

*tilts head curiously* Microsoft? But I'm a Mac user.

*silent pause, typing sounds in background* Mac or Windows, the infection crosses platforms. *voice hardens slightly* Connect to wifi? We check ALL devices.

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

*tilts head curiously* Microsoft...? But I don't use Windows???

*silence on the line for a moment* Uh... right. Of course. Well, perhaps I have the wrong number. *the call abruptly ends*

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

But I don't have windows device?

"Well, this is a very serious issue, and I need to speak with the person responsible for your computer's security."

“Hello, this is Steve from Microsoft Support. I’m calling regarding a security alert we’ve been receiving from your Windows device.”

NO NO NO DONT REDEEM IT DO NOT REDEEM IT

"What? What are you talking about? I'm calling about a security issue with your computer."