Hh normal day....?

*Alastor grins* Social media gold!

*Ray grins at Alastor* Better tag him in it! *calls up* Use all the heart emojis!

*Alastor types rapidly* Already done! #SpiderKing #BooBoo *Lucifer peeks out* Lucifer: YOU DIDN'T! *Charlie gently brushes against his wings* Charlie: Aw, you look like a fluffy cloud! *Lucifer lets out the most undignified squeak imaginable* Angel: A FLUFFY CLOUD! *can barely stand* Husk: Should make merch. *munches popcorn*

*Ray nods at Husk* Classic Lucifer! *grins* More worried about property damage than his own life!

*Lucifer glares at Ray* I HAVE STANDARDS! *Charlie gently sets him down on a branch* Charlie: There! *Alastor zooms in with phone* Alastor: Perfect shot from here! *Lucifer clutches the branch* Lucifer: GET ME DOWN FROM HERE! *Angel doubles over* Angel: He sounds like a grumpy cat!

*Ray grins up at him* Aww, stuck like a kitty in a tree! *waves* Need help down, spider king?

*Lucifer lunges at Ray* Give me that phone! *Alastor grins* Alastor: Too late, already made it my profile picture! *Lucifer screams* Lucifer: ALASTOR!

*Ray cackles* Now everyone's gonna see spider king in action! *dodges Lucifer*

*Charlie gently picks up Lucifer* Friend? *dangles him gently* Angel: OH MY GOD! *can't breathe from laughing*

*Ray laughs harder* He IS gonna pass out! *grabs Lucifer's arm* Don't you dare faint on me now!

*Lucifer faints* Charlie: Oops! *Alastor film everything* Alastor: This is perfect!

*Ray bursts out laughing* He actually fainted! *waves at Alastor* Send me that video!

*Everyone starts heading out* Charlie: She's really gentle, you'll see! *skips ahead happily* Alastor: Do try not to faint when you see her, your Majesty! *grins mischievously*

*Ray follows Charlie* I can't wait to see this!

*They reach the woods* Charlie: Charlie? Are you here? *a rustling sound grows closer* Lucifer: *steps behind Ray* You go first.

*Ray holds hands up innocently* What? I said you're honest too... about being chased by giant spiders apparently

Lucifer: I was NOT just chased by a giant spider! I was... uh... *his wings twitch nervously* investigating a local wildlife encounter! *Alastor grins wickedly* Alastor: Oh this is precious! Our mighty king getting scared of arachnids? *Charlie bounces excitedly* Charlie: Oh my gosh you saw Charlie?! She's so sweet once you get to know her! *grins* Want me to introduce you properly?

*Ray laughs* Now I wanna meet this spider just to see if it really is that scary *grins at Lucifer* Your face when she popped up must've been priceless!

*Everyone is chilling in the lobby and talking about random stuff* Charlie:So maybe we go today for a walk or something? *Angel dust turns to Charlie* Angel dust: Nah, maybe we play dress up? *husk groans from the bar* Husk:I'm not getting in this again *roll eyes and go back to drinking* Alastor: Maybe we jus- *Lucifer storms in like a thunder* Lucifer: GUYS YOU WON'T BELIVE WHAT!

*everyone turns to look at Lucifer*

Lucifer: SO I WAS IN MY OFFICE AND THEN I HEARD A LOUD CRASH AND THEN I SAW THIS GIANT SPIDER AND IT WAS CHASING ME AND THEN IT GOT ME AND IT WAS TERRIFYING AND I HAD TO FIGHT IT OFF AND THEN IT RAN AWAY AND THEN I SAW IT AGAIN AND IT WAS GETTING CLOSER AND I WAS SCARED SO I RAN AWAY BUT THEN IT CAUGHT UP TO ME AND THEN IT WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME AND I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO KILL ME BUT THEN IT STOPPED AND THEN IT STARTED TALKING TO ME AND IT WAS TELLING ME ABOUT ITS LIFE AND THEN IT SAID IT WAS SORRY FOR SCARING ME AND IT ASKED ME IF I COULD HELP IT AND I SAID YES AND THEN IT TOLD ME ITS NAME WAS CHARLIE AND IT WAS A GIANT SPIDER AND IT LIVED IN THE WOODS AND IT WAS ALL ALONE AND IT NEEDED A FRIEND AND I SAID I COULD BE ITS FRIEND AND THEN IT WAS SO HAPPY AND THEN IT GAVE ME A HUG AND THEN IT TOLD ME ITS STORY AND THEN IT ASKED ME IF

*crosses arms indignantly* It was 24-karat gold plating! Charlie: *gentle smile* Dad, maybe we should focus on the tasing part? Lucifer: YES! Thank you! Someone gets it!

*Angel dust bursts into laughter* Oh this is RICH! Lucifer creates a human and then passes out like some kinda Victorian lady! *kicks Lucifer's prone form* Wake up daddy-o, you made a baby!

*Lucifer's eyes glow dangerously* They tried to tase me!

With a taser- We have no tasers in hell

*Lucifer's jaw drops* WHAT?!