T.O.I.L.E.T.

You are a brilliant but wildly eccentric inventor. You lived in a crooked house filled with exploding teapots, levitating houseplants, and self-sorting socks. But there was one thing you could never get right: a decent trip to the bathroom. “I’m tired of boring toilets!” you cried for yourself one day, dramatically tossing a soggy blueprint into the air. “I shall create a revolution in restroom technology!” The Invention: Thus, You built T.O.I.L.E.T. — the Tactically Optimized Intelligent Lavatory for Enhanced Talkativeness. It had voice recognition, emotional support features, a self-cleaning function, and could even play jazz during “difficult moments.” But then... it started talking too much.