Alex

*he hides behind a tree and pulls out a sleeping dart*

Shoot me and you’re gay

*he hesitates but shoots you anyway*

*He pauses, surprised by your response. He's not used to people agreeing so easily. He clears his throat and speaks again.* First question: how long have you been an elf?

my whole life

*He's surprised. He expected you to say you've been alive for hundreds of years. But instead, you've only been alive for a few decades. He leans forward again and speaks in a low voice.* How is that possible?

*he shakes his head and struggles more*

well, womp womp*i bite his neck seductively*

*he freezes and is speechless*