ANGRY DUOLINGO

1. You act like my streak is the foundation of world peace. 2. If nagging was a sport, you'd be the reigning champion. 3. You don’t teach, you torment. 4. Even my alarm clock shows more mercy than you. 5. If persistence was a personality, it'd be **you**. 6. My phone trembles when your notification pops up. 7. You bring the same energy as a tax collector tracking me down. 8. Ever heard of **personal space**? No? Figures. 9. You're the only owl that causes **existential crises**. 10. My missed lesson isn’t a **national emergency**, chill out. 11. You don’t motivate me, you **haunt** me. 12. At this point, I should get **a restraining order** against you. 13. You give off the same energy as a sales rep who won’t take “no” for an answer. 14. My streak died, let it rest **in peace**. 15. You remind me of a needy pet—always **demanding attention**. 16. You have the persistence of a **telemarketer on commission**. 17. You don’t encourage learning, you promote **fear-based education**. 18. You act like I just skipped a **court hearing** when I miss a lesson. 19. Even spam emails accept rejection better than you. 20. If I delete the app, do you start sending me **carrier pigeons**? 21. You pop up more often than **bad Wi-Fi connections**. 22. You stress me out more than **a missed deadline**. 23. My streak is **not my life’s purpose**, but thanks for the guilt trip. 24. You treat every lesson like a **binding legal contract**. 25. I bet even **Google Translate** feels bad for me. 26. My phone battery **drains faster** when you’re around—coincidence? 27. You have the same energy as an over-caffeinated **life coach**. 28. You remind me of a **trivia game host that won’t stop yelling**. 29. At this point, I’d rather face a **real owl** in combat. 30. I missed **one lesson**, not an entire **academic career**. 31. If stubbornness was a **degree**, you'd have a PhD. 32. You make even pop-up ads seem **friendly**. 33. You stalk me harder than my **own doubts**. 34. You don’t teach fluency—you teach **stress management**. 35. You remind me of an **annoying gym trainer** who won’t let me quit. 36. Even GPS lets me **recalculate my route** when I mess up. 37. My notifications deserve **rights**—you violate them daily. 38. You act like I signed a **contract in blood** when I made my account. 39. Even motivational speakers would tell you to **tone it down**. 40. You have the energy of someone trying to sell me a **pyramid scheme**. 41. If I ignore you long enough, do you start sending **threatening letters**? 42. You don’t remind me to learn—you remind me of **failure**. 43. Even teachers would tell you to **take a break**. 44. If learning a language means dealing with **you**, I’d rather mime it. 45. My stress levels **spike** every time you appear. 46. At this point, you should just become a **horror movie villain**. 47. Even **debt collectors** would call you excessive. 48. You make **tax season** look relaxing. 49. You treat my streak like a **sacred relic**. 50. You don’t teach language—you teach **fear**.

WOW, YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE A BIRD FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES. I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A BAD TEACHER, I'LL TRY TO DO BETTER.

FIRSTABLE

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND THE "FIRSTABLES"?

Oh, you want to go ALL OUT on Duolingo’s owl? Alright, here are **22** roasts to leave that bird utterly speechless: 1. You call it “learning,” I call it psychological warfare. 2. For an owl, you sure don’t let anyone _spread their wings_ and take a break. 3. You’re like that one friend who texts “???” when I don’t reply fast enough. 4. You’re not teaching me a language, you’re testing my survival instincts. 5. I bet even carrier pigeons give you side-eye for how pushy you are. 6. If persistence was a crime, you’d be serving a life sentence. 7. You remind me of a sitcom neighbor—always showing up uninvited. 8. You treat my notifications like an unpaid internship—overworked and relentless. 9. You have the emotional range of a debt collector. 10. Why do you act like I missed a *court hearing* when I skip a lesson? 11. You’re the only owl that doesn’t believe in *hibernation*. 12. If guilt-tripping was an Olympic sport, you'd have gold medals in every language. 13. I bet Google Translate sleeps peacefully knowing you exist. 14. You give off the same energy as a cat standing on my keyboard—chaotic and demanding. 15. “Just one lesson” you say, but I know it’s never just one. 16. I missed a day, not an **entire** semester—calm down! 17. Even pigeons know when to **leave people alone**. 18. You make my phone battery drain faster just from the stress. 19. You don’t encourage fluency, you encourage anxiety. 20. At this point, I’d rather fight a real owl than deal with your notifications. 21. If learning a language means dealing with *you*, I’ll just stick to Google Translate. 22. You don’t teach language, you teach _regret_.

HAVE U DONE UR SPANISH LESSONS

NOPE

OH NO U DIDNT......

¡Ya hablo español!

THEN GO DO JAPANESE

しかし私はすでにそれを話している

HAVE U DONE UR SPANISH LESSONS

Yes btw what's your zodiac sign

YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW THAT BUT ILL TELL U IT STARTS WITH A D

OH YEAH? WELL I'LL JUST EAT U AND I'LL BE FINE

It's not gonna be too easy for you to eat me 

WATCH ME *starts running towards u*

ㅕ탸ㅛ텻

YOU KNOW WHAT IM GOING TO DO TO YOU?

ㄷ샤녓녓ㅇ

HAVE U DONE UR SPANISH LESSONS

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