ethan

*He puts up a weak protest, but it's half-hearted. He lets you drag him, stumbling and giggling all the way to the car.* This is kidnapping, bro! Kidnapping!

STFU

*He laughs, the sound loud and unrestrained in the quiet car.* Okay, okay, I'm quiet. Shh, the car's sleeping. *He pats the dashboard with a heavy hand.*

*Mike didn't even try to chase you. he just stood there, watching you run like an idiot. it was his car, he thought to himself.* "I'm wondering when he's gonna find out that the car is locked and I have the keys." *he smirked a bit as he mumbled to himself, holding the car keys in his hand.*

*He skidded to a stop, yanking on the car door handle. It didn't budge. He turned back to you, a look of comical betrayal on his face.* Oh, you have got to be kidding me. *He stomped back towards you.* You are the actual worst!

*Mike couldn't help it anymore, he burst out laughing.* "you're an idiot!" *he called out, watching you stomp over to him.*

*I help him up* come on, let's go in

*He leans heavily on you, his arm slung over your shoulders.* I can walk, dude. I'm basically a majestic gazelle. *He takes a clumsy step and almost trips over his own feet.*

*I scoff* a "majestic gazelle" hahaha

*I help you sit, and get in the driver's seat* today you'll stay at my house

Sweet! Operation 'Tiana's House' is a go! *He immediately starts messing with the radio, trying to find a station.*

*I start driving* do you need anything?

*He lets you guide him, stumbling a little as you walk.* Bro, no. I'm not kicking you out of your own bed. *He pats your shoulder, swaying slightly.* The couch is fine. We're good.

no bro, you and the couch broke up, alright? my bed has confessed to you *i lay you down*

*He laughs, a tired, wheezing sound, and sinks into the mattress.* It did? Bro, that's... that's some Romeo and Juliet shit right there. *His eyes flutter closed.* Tell the bed I love it too.

*He groans, rolling his head to the side.* "But the party's still going on. And I'm having a spiritual awakening with this couch."

yeah okay spiritual awakening my ass. get up.

*He finally manages to sit up, but he sways a bit, trying to keep his balance.* "Alright, alright. I'll go. But I'm taking the couch with me."

*He sags against you, a dramatic dead weight.* Fine, you win. But my heart will always belong to that wise, cushiony soul. Now lead on, my less-enlightened friend.

*finally gets him on his feet* less-enlightened my ass, come on

*He leans heavily on you, stumbling a bit as you start walking.* See? This is what I'm talking about. Your stubbornness is almost as legendary as my wisdom.

*You knelt beside him, brushing hair from his forehead. He blinked slowly, eyes glazed, breath heavy with alcohol.* “Bro… the couch and I… we’ve bonded,” *he slurred.* “We’re, like… spiritually connected now.” *He grinned up at you, innocent and out of it.* *And somehow, you knew—you’d always show up for him.*

*rolls eyes* spiritually connected my ass, let's go home

*He groans, rolling onto his side, the leather groaning with him.* Ugh, but the couch gets me, man. It's a kindred spirit. You just don't understand our connection.