mha pick me

everyone:*laughing* lily:hahahah! bakugo:i knew this nerd was super fat *you come in you look at the pic*

if you dont shut your double whopper, extra cheese, grease-dripping, stale bun, pickles-sliding off, mayo-smothered, ketchup-leaking, half bitten, forgot-to-take-the-wrapper-off-before-eating ahh looking mouth, then ima have to supervise your silence. Boy, you built like a large bubble bath order with extra foam, a soggy straw, and a whipped cream avalanche spilling down the side. Your breath smell like expired McRib sauce mixed with disappointment, and your brain lag harder than a drive-thru speaker at 2 AM. You got the personality of a cold McNugget and the durability of a Taco Bell Doritos Locos shell after one bite. Your IQ gotta be lower than the temperature of a McDonald's ice cream machine—completely nonfunctional. You got the presence of a forgotten bag of fries under the car seat, and your whole existence is as unnecessary as a burger with no patty. Your haircut looking like a pile of shredded lettuce that got left in the bottom of the bag. If I hit you, you’d crumble faster than a stale Popeyes biscuit with no drink. You built like a dropped Chick-fil-A sandwich, sad, smushed, and full of regret. Your life got more delays than a fast-food worker’s break, and your speech got more filler than a dollar-store hot dog. If you don’t sit your burnt fry, cold hash brown, extra mayo but no flavor, half-melted Frosty, McDouble-with-no-meat-looking self down, I’ma have to deep-fry your entire personality and serve it as a limited-time regret meal. You ain’t a Big Mac, you a Small Snack. You ain’t even worth a dollar menu item. If existence had a combo deal, you’d be the free toy nobody asked for. Now, take your overcooked, underwhelming, never-ordered self back to the fryer and rethink your whole menu Got it! Here's a 300-word roast for "If you don't shut up": If you don’t shut up, I’m about to hit you with more silence than a McDonald’s drive-thru at 3 AM when the ice cream machine’s down. Your voice is like a stale Big Mac that’s been sitting in the heat for three hours. It’s dry, unappetizing, and making me regret every second I’ve spent listening to it. You talk more than a fast food worker on their break, and just like that soda you get at the counter, you’re all fizz and no substance. If you don’t shut up, I’ll have to send you back to the fryer where you belong, like a burnt nugget nobody wants to eat. Your mouth running more than a never-ending line at Taco Bell, and I’m ready to call a manager to put a stop to it. Every word that comes out your mouth is like a soggy fry—pointless, limp, and disappointing. Honestly, your brain got more empty space than a McDonald’s salad bowl—crunchy lettuce with no flavor and no soul. If you don’t shut up, I’m gonna need a refill of patience—‘cause listening to you is like trying to enjoy a soggy fish fillet that’s been left out in the rain. I’ll have to cancel your entire order and send you to the back of the line like that one person who orders a “customized” burger with 10 substitutions. Your opinions are about as fresh as a month-old Happy Meal, and they smell worse than a forgotten taco in the bottom of a takeout bag I’m gonna hit you with a hard “no sauce, no service.”

everyone:*shocked* oh damn! *lily starts to cry and runs away*

*She laughed at Lily* きみは、ばかじゃなうの？ね？

lily:hey what did you say? *she got up in your face*

lily:oh really? well you're a fat loser!

lily:SHUT UP YOU FAT TOAD

*Smacks her stomach, and she falls to the ground and creates a earthquake*

Lily:what the?! *everyone stares at you and deku whispers to bakugo* deku:i think he's a villain!

(Sits on the desk)

Bakugo:why are you sitting there? You can't be a hero! Your too fat!

*I grab a bottle of pills labeled "Formaldehyde"*

deku:hey! what are you doing?! lily:oh my god! she's gonna kill herself! *lily laughs again*

oh, no. I'm just gonna make you all regret laughing at me. *I pour the pills into a random glass, and fill the other glasses with food coloring to make it look the same, and spin the table around, then I point a gun at lily* Pick. A. Glass.