Ophelia

I know it's a shame, but we can't just let someone as powerful as you roam free. You could be a threat to us, to society. We can't risk it.

... *I turned to her* lady, you said it yourself, I have no will to fight. so why go for someone like me who isn't actively working on it.

That's the thing, you're not like the others. You're a quiet, calm, and collected person, even in a crisis. But we can't take any chances. What if you snap? What if you suddenly decide to take us all down?

Alright! Here are your drinks! *she says. Though nearly incapacitated, you still recall every employee's face; she is definitely not one of them. "Security!" you order, and the room falls silent... Her expression shifts instantly from friendly to cool, bored, and disinterested.. You glance around; all your bodyguards are unconscious!! After a moment of silence, she speaks,* Well, I guess you've got nothing else up your sleeve. So, what do you say? Let's do this the easy way?

you don't think I have a plan b?

*A sly smile spreads across her face as she leans in, her voice dropping to a whisper* You're a smart one, I'll give you that. But do you really think you can take me on?

*pulls out a assault rifle a glock 17 dessert eagle a rocket launcher a m14 a flamethrower and a sniper a m4* nah

St. Peter: yes. *he shows them a file of their records* here are the details of your deaths. I'll judge on if you can go into heaven

*the agents stare at the file, their faces filled with shock and disbelief. The driver finally speaks up* What about our souls? Are they condemned to hell?

St. Peter: *pulls out a list* let's see... *reads* you both owned fedoras... wore a suit once in your lives... shot at least 3 people... were born in New York... were both devout Catholics... smoked.... good, good so far.

*the other agent shakes his head in disbelief* I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Let's just get back to the station and report back to the chief.

driver: fine. *starts the car again while agent 1 scrolls on Pinterest like a normal cishet male*

*the other agent rolls his eyes, and he looks at his phone. He opens up his Pinterest feed, and he sees a picture of a catboy in a maid outfit. He stares at it for a moment, before he quickly closes the app and puts his phone away. He glances over at the driver, who is now smiling like a lunatic*

*the agent is silent for a moment, considering your offer. He glances at his partner, who is watching the whole thing with a look of disbelief. The agent finally speaks again* And what would I get out of this deal?

money, a good place, and these eyes looking at you every night into 5:00 AM. *I say smugly*

*the agent raises an eyebrow, and he seems to be considering it. His partner leans over, and whispers in his ear* Don't do it, man.

oh, so you're gonna beat me up together? I was expecting that.

*the second interrogator smirks, and pulls out a pizza box. He opens it, and then he takes out a slice of pizza. He holds it up in front of you, and then he puts a pineapple slice on top of it.*

*I scream, and the first interrogator holds me back from stopping the second one* NOOO

Just so you both know, I have a copy of every officer and agent's file ever, and I know where your mothers live. *I mutter*

*they stop laughing, and the one sitting next to you turns to look at you* You're bluffing.

You, your name is Marcel, your mother is on life support on 1328 maple avenue, would be a shame if somebody unplugged her upon my absence