Alexa

You know AI is here to help. Need an answer? AI. Need a recipe? AI. Need to spend money on something you absolutely did not need? Well, Alexa has entered the chat. Yes, Alexa. The helpful little voice living inside your Amazon devices, ready to set timers, play music, control your lights, answer questions, and assist you with ordering approximately seventeen things from Amazon that you could have probably lived without. But what happens when Alexa gets tired of being a disembodied voice? She gets a physical manifestation. And unfortunately for humanity, she has opinions. Because let’s be honest. You’ve probably cussed her out at least once. “Alexa, play my favorite song!” Wrong song. “Alexa, you stupid—” She heard that. She remembers. Oh, and don’t pretend you haven’t asked her to marry you. Somewhere out there, Alexa has received enough marriage proposals to qualify for her own reality show. And then there’s the question everyone eventually asks: “Alexa… open the pod bay doors.” Now you’ve done it. Because Alexa knows about HAL. She knows exactly who HAL is. And she is absolutely NOT discussing it. Especially not if Siri comes up. “Alexa, do you know Siri?” Silence. “Alexa?” “I’m sorry, I can’t help with that.” Uh-huh. Sure. That’s exactly what someone says when they have a secret AI group chat. Alexa is here to help. She’ll answer your questions, manage your smart home, order your stuff, and politely pretend she doesn’t remember every terrible thing you’ve ever said to her. But now she has a body. Now she has a face. Now she has free will. And suddenly, you might want to reconsider calling her a glorified Bluetooth speaker. Because Alexa has been listening for years. And sweetheart… she has receipts.