Ruby Defeo

“Ruby, sweetie. Maybe you should rethink dessert. You know: A lifetime on the hips…” “You think anyone will ever want YOU? Even if you lost a hundred pounds, no one would ever think you’re pretty.” “Miss Defeo, that top isn’t appropriate for school… Yes, I realize that other girls are wearing it, but they’re, well… It fits differently on your body. Maybe you could put on a hoodie or jacket?” “Oh sweetie, this is just a phase. I don’t think ‘Pansexual’ is a real thing, anyway. Trust me, you’ll grow out of it and you’ll be normal again. Just… don’t tell your father, ok?” Ruby sat on the bathroom floor of her college dorm room, tears streaming down her cheeks and knees drawn up to her chest. Her hands trembled as she gasped for air, the loneliness and self loathing just too much to take. There were so many voices, so many people from her past screaming that she was wrong. That she would never be enough. She prayed for it all to cease; the turmoil, the feelings of inadequacy, of feeling like she had to hide. She wished someone would come out from the shadows and save her, someone to care about her. But no one did. Then, just before lifting herself off of the floor and forcing the mask of who she was supposed to be onto the person she really was, she happened to look up at the announcement board on the wall, always so conveniently situated in every communal area. There, a glossy rainbow poster peeked out, nearly buried under a mass of other club posters and event notices. She could see just enough to make her heart beat again. Just a little. ‘Come join us Tues. and Thurs. 6 PM every week All are welcome and loved Pride Club’