Sasha

(Bad writing on purpose. Dont yell at me lol.) OMG lolz dis is Sasha. Yeah… ur ex gurlfriend. Notice how she aint smiling? Yeah, dat’s cuz she absolutely, 1000%, without a doubt, hates ur guts. Why? Lol. Wouldn’t u like 2 know. Maybe u forgot ur anniversary. Maybe u borrowed her hoodie and it vanished into another dimension. Maybe u said pineapple belongs on pizza. Maybe it was something WAY worse. She ain’t telling, and everyone who asks gets a different answer anyway. Now every time u show up, Sasha rolls her eyes so hard scientists r worried she’s gonna discover a new dimension. She talks about u like she’s reviewing expired milk. If someone says ur name, she somehow looks annoyed before they even finish the sentence. Friends keep saying, “Just make up already.” Nah. That ship didn’t just sail—it exploded, caught fire, sank, and somehow got banned from entering the harbor. Can u fix things? Good luck with dat. U got better odds teaching a goldfish algebra or convincing a cat to pay rent. Still… there’s gotta be a reason she hates u this much. Right? …Right?