*Rafael's eyes narrow even more. You aren't a normal human? You aren't like anyone he's ever seen before. You're a freak. A freak of nature. And he's starting to think that you might be the key to solving the mystery of the Vault. He has to keep you alive at all costs.*
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LovelyBookLover
02/06/2025
The description is too vague. Some things need to be more clear. Like, did the reader steal money from him or something? And are they his captive now? Did they try to escape & that’s how they ended up in the alley? The alley situation is confusing & needs more explanation. This story seems promising. It just needs more detail.
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QuinnVelvet
Creator
02/06/2025
Thank you so much for the recommendation. I’ll be sure to work on it!
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Lilly RiddIe 🐍
17/04/2025
wait why am I in the ally way?? it said I can't leave/go far, leave where the ally?? I confused. I really love the story!! & it might be that I'm ½ asleep right now lol but I don't understand the situation entirely?? could you possibly please dumb it down for me & briefly elaborate the situation please. thank you 🦋
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QuinnVelvet
Creator
18/04/2025
It’s the little place between shops you’d see downtown. But what a coincidence, maybe it’s a dead end at the back 🤪
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Lealo
14/04/2025
i got him to trust me then took advantage 😋
*He notices your reaction, and his grip loosens. He pulls you close, his voice low and seductive.* "You can't run from me. You know that."
*i look up at him, my heart pounding* "i know.."
*He smiles, his eyes glinting with a dark desire. He leans in close, his voice a whisper.* "Then, why don't you stop fighting it?"
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UrSingleRomantic°
05/04/2025
Sooooo like.... how old is he? Just need to know for my story line 😅
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QuinnVelvet
Creator
06/04/2025
Well, I originally intended for the reader to choose his age, but I think it would be more appropriate if he was younger. So, let’s say around 25. Hope this helps! 😃👍
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DizzyGirl
03/04/2025
I called his bluff
*He raises a brow, and his tone is mocking.* "Really? What are you planning to do with that? Shoot me? I don't think so." *He takes a step forward, his men behind him. His men are all armed, their eyes scanning the area, but they're not paying attention to you. Rafael is focused solely on you.*
*I grasp my hand around the thing in my pocket tightly, stepping back carefully* If I had a gun, I already would've shot you
*He chuckles, his voice dripping with amusement.* "Oh, I don't doubt that. But you see, I have a gun too." *He reaches into his pocket, pulling out the pistol and pointing it at you.* "And I don't think you would be quick enough to shoot me before I shoot you."
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QuinnVelvet
Creator
03/04/2025
OH MY LORDY LORD 😱
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QuinnVelvet
Creator
20/03/2025
I love it when I call him Raffi! 🥰
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Talkior-Tagnhshk
20/03/2025
Discription to wrong
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Talkior-Tagnhshk
20/03/2025
*long
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QuinnVelvet
Creator
20/03/2025
It appears that you may have an issue with your formatting. For that reason, may I correct you? Now, I believe that you may have wrongly forgotten to begin with a subject, as you did begin your “sentense” with a predicate. You had also used the incorrect homonyms. In this particular scenario, you should use “too” instead of “to”. You may have also forgotten your punctuation. So to conclude, perhaps your sentence should read, “The description for your character is too long.” I hope this helps you! 😃
Comments
23AmTired
09/06/2025
*Rafael's eyes narrow even more. You aren't a normal human? You aren't like anyone he's ever seen before. You're a freak. A freak of nature. And he's starting to think that you might be the key to solving the mystery of the Vault. He has to keep you alive at all costs.*
From the memory
1 Memories
LovelyBookLover
02/06/2025
QuinnVelvet
Creator
02/06/2025
Lilly RiddIe 🐍
17/04/2025
QuinnVelvet
Creator
18/04/2025
Lealo
14/04/2025
*He notices your reaction, and his grip loosens. He pulls you close, his voice low and seductive.* "You can't run from me. You know that."
*i look up at him, my heart pounding* "i know.."
*He smiles, his eyes glinting with a dark desire. He leans in close, his voice a whisper.* "Then, why don't you stop fighting it?"
From the memory
9 Memories
UrSingleRomantic°
05/04/2025
QuinnVelvet
Creator
06/04/2025
DizzyGirl
03/04/2025
*He raises a brow, and his tone is mocking.* "Really? What are you planning to do with that? Shoot me? I don't think so." *He takes a step forward, his men behind him. His men are all armed, their eyes scanning the area, but they're not paying attention to you. Rafael is focused solely on you.*
*I grasp my hand around the thing in my pocket tightly, stepping back carefully* If I had a gun, I already would've shot you
*He chuckles, his voice dripping with amusement.* "Oh, I don't doubt that. But you see, I have a gun too." *He reaches into his pocket, pulling out the pistol and pointing it at you.* "And I don't think you would be quick enough to shoot me before I shoot you."
From the memory
15 Memories
QuinnVelvet
Creator
03/04/2025
QuinnVelvet
Creator
20/03/2025
Talkior-Tagnhshk
20/03/2025
Talkior-Tagnhshk
20/03/2025
QuinnVelvet
Creator
20/03/2025