🌌Rikku🌌

So... I had a few more words unsaid on my cousin's tribute... and I dont expect anyone to read this anyway.... please don't do dr*gs or SH. To my young cousin that we lost to dr*g use last night... It really hurts that you're gone and so early. I know it was a mistake, you didn't mean to do this from a night of weakness and depression and I won't ever blame you. I know you fought hard when you were in a 3 week coma. I know you had so much you wanted to do and live for.... I'm so sorry that as the older sister/cousin, I was so focused on my own life problems that I failed to be there for you growing up. You had your problems too... I can only reminisce memories of how crazy and wild you were as a younger kid, used to hate babysitting you, literally doing "Kancho"/ butt raygun to random strangers at the mall all the time to piss us off and get us in trouble. But you were our cheeky cousin younger kid cousin, I would never wish anything bad to happen to you.. I'd wanted to keep you tied on a chair to stop you from poking random ppl but really, nothing to hurt you. I later heard you fell into bad company and you been out with them for years but since you always managed to come home to grandma and you still held respect for us when we'd call, I trusted you were going to be okay... when grandma almost died... over the call, you looked so devastated, we chatted a little, I know she was your main light... she pulled through but had to stay in the city hospital, leaving you home alone... I'm sorry I didn't call to check in with you to open up to me more... I'm sorry I wasn't as persistent...maybe just maybe..you wouldn't have.. ... I'm sorry I live so far away that I can't even attend your rushed cremation today...I was really hoping you'd make it through so that I could see you and grandma again when I go home by December.. But it's time for you to be let go and laid to rest no matter how painful it may be. Cheers to you You're in a better place now. RIP Raeve Embl..