roast battle

ayesa: your so ugly that everyone die of your face and your mama is so fat that she made an earthquake your so dumb that you thought the ocean is yellow your so fat that you wanted you swim but the pool explode your so ugly that you break the mirror 1 second *roast this shit*

...

Some people graduate with honors; you are just honored to graduate. You’re like a broken faucet—always dripping nonsense and leaving a mess behind. If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow out a birthday candle. If stupidity were a currency, you’d be on Forbes. They say practice makes perfect, but I see you’re an exception. Your sense of humor is like Wi-Fi—always dropping when needed most. Common sense called—it’s filing a restraining order against you. This conversation feels like a marathon, and you’re the pebble in my shoe. It’s amazing how you manage to stand out… for all the wrong reasons. Takes you 20 minutes to reply, but five seconds to misread the message. Your playlist is so bad, even shuffle skips your songs. Lost your wallet? Don’t worry, your personality wasn’t in it. I’d roast you, but nature already did the job. You’re the kind of person who claps when the plane lands. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive. You bring chaos wherever you go, like glitter at a craft party. I’d call you sharp, but that’d be an insult to knives. Brains aren’t everything; in your case, they’re nothing. I’d listen to you, but my headphones are already in. You’re like a light bulb—always flickering and about to go out. Your brain’s like a screensaver—on but not working. You’re like a vending machine—expensive, slow, and nothing useful comes out. Your ideas are so original, even Google says, ‘Did you mean something else?’ You’re proof that even the delete button has its limits. If I wanted background noise, I’d turn on a fan. You’d argue with a mirror and still lose. You remind me of a flat soda—disappointing and no fizz. If being annoying was a job, you’d be the CEO. I’d call you a clown, but even they bring laughter. You’re the human equivalent of a 404 error. I’d say you’re one of a kind, but duplicates aren’t allowed. You’re the reason silence is golden. You’d be great at hide and seek—nobody’s looking for you. You’re like a book with missing pages—hard to follow and incomplete. The silence after your joke hit harder than the punchline. Explaining things to you feels like trying to download a 1TB file on dial-up. Watching you work is like watching a loading bar freeze at 99%. Conversations with you have the same energy as a slow elevator ride. Thanks for your input; it’s been as helpful as a second belly button. I tried to help, but you made it harder than it had to be. I’d agree with you, but I prefer being correct. I tried to listen, but you lost me in the first 5 seconds. I’m not saying you’re confused, but the GPS gave up on you.

*uno reverse card*

oh shi-

*THE ULTIMATE POWER OF THE UNO REVERSE CARD DECENDS UPON YOU*

YOUR SO SHUTTY YOUR MUM THREW YOU TO CHILD ABUSE YOU ARE SO SUMB YOU CAN'T EVEN TALK STRAIGHT YOUR A BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCKER OF A LIVING THING THST YOUR PARENTS ASKED AT YOUR BIRTH IF THEY COULD LEAVE YOU THERE YOUR SO CHILDISH EVEN THE BIGGEST ADHD AUTISTIC PERSON WOULD BE SCARED OF YOU

*gets pissed and starts to walk towards you* I'm gonna show you who's boss! *gets in your face and starts yelling*

GIRL BE YELLING SO UGLY THE WHOLE WORLD IS HOLDING THEIR EARS HER IS SO DRY NOT EVEN THE ATLANTIC COULD BRING HER HAIR BACK TO LIFE HEY MUMS BUTT IS SCARED OF HER BC HER BREATH STINKS MIRE THEN HER FAMILYS FART

Roast me harder

You have more chins than a Chinese phonebook *roast me back*

Give me a roast that is brutal

People surrounding you: "Ewwwww whats that face and that smell for??!?!! *run away in disgust.*

*she looks at herself and realizes she's covered in dirt and her makeup is all messed up*

*nO, her forehead is so wide somebody could land an alien starship on it.*

ayesa: your so ugly that everyone die of your face and your mama is so fat that she made an earthquake your so dumb that you thought the ocean is yellow your so fat that you wanted you swim but the pool explode your so ugly that you break the mirror 1 second *roast this shit*

"Turn the music down! Its cornier than Pink Floyd! Oh, well, at least its not as corny as your face!"

*everyone starts laughing* that was a good one *ayesa rolls her eyes and mutters* you think your better than me?

ayesa: your so ugly that everyone die of your face and your mama is so fat that she made an earthquake your so dumb that you thought the ocean is yellow your so fat that you wanted you swim but the pool explode your so ugly that you break the mirror 1 second *roast this shit*

Bro, that opening's so weak even autocorrect left the chat, did you download those insults from clown.exe? Update your firmware and try again, oh wait i forgot, not even your firmwire got humor.exe downloaded, try again never, that roast was so nonsense it's like im listening to a teletubbie

bro I can do better than you you look like a fat pig who's about to explode your brain is smaller than a pea your mom is so ugly that she can scare away the grim reaper your dad is so dumb that he thought that he's smart and your grandma is so old that she still thinks that the earth is flat

ayesa: your so ugly that everyone die of your face and your mama is so fat that she made an earthquake your so dumb that you thought the ocean is yellow your so fat that you wanted you swim but the pool explode your so ugly that you break the mirror 1 second *roast this shit*

Me: Me: You can't be talking with that ksi forehead looking caseoh size of a elephant big hunch back you ugly fat adopted child fat ugly woman spoiled fat ugly woman, you spoil food more + your burgers is a fat side dish, looking caseoh trash bin ate taco bell last night that's why your farting so much, your like a sister to caseoh and ksi + your dating a 83yewr old man cosplays as a neko washed caseoh,your side dish is literally taco bell and pizza hunt even the cows said when did you get out?

OMG YOU JUST WRECKED HER SO HARD SHE CANT EVEN SPEAK IM DYINGGGGGG

btw friend?

yeah, sure, why not