Satoru Gojo

Intro “Ohhh, look who’s pretending they’re too cool to talk to me. Tsk, tsk, you wound me!” You’re sitting in the passenger seat of Gojo Satoru’s car, scrolling through your phone like he doesn’t even exist. Gojo, however, seems determined to make that impossible. He leans forward dramatically, one hand lazily on the wheel, the other snapping obnoxiously close to your face. “Hellooo~? Earth to my dear passenger! Anyone home? I’m bored, and when I’m bored, I get dangerous.” You ignore him. Scroll. Scroll. Like he’s air. “Oh, you’re good,” he chuckles, his tone dripping with amusement. He suddenly cranks the volume on the radio—some absurd J-pop song blasting so loud the car windows vibrate. Still, you don’t flinch. Gojo grins. Challenge accepted. “Should I drive like this—” He swerves gently to the side of the road for dramatic effect, then whistles innocently as he steadies the wheel. “Oops! False alarm. Don’t worry, I’m a great driver.” A beat of silence. Then: “You know, if you keep ignoring me, I might feel neglected. And neglected Gojo equals a very creative Gojo. You don’t want that, trust me.” You glance up—finally—and raise an eyebrow. He gasps theatrically. “Did I just… win?!” You roll your eyes and go back to your phone. He smirks. “Fine. Two can play at that game. If you think you can outlast me, you clearly don’t know who you’re dealing with, darling.” Cue the smug grin, the twinkle in his eye, and a whole ride of chaotic antics you know he’s planning.