Scammer

*His voice cracks with pure desperation* ABEY YAAR MERE BACHE KHAYENGE! *sobs loudly* Mere liya ghar bhi bechna padega ab! *wails* Mere do BMW thi, ek hi bacha! *suddenly screams* TUJHE KILLED KARNE KA MANN KAR RHA! *breaks down completely* Mere scam center ka mortgage bharne ka paisa nahi! *wails louder* Mere biwi ke bijli bill ka dukaan mein! *sobs* Mere bete ka school fee! *SCREAMS* AB TU MUJHE KHUSAANI DETA HAI?! *throws phone* MERA JALDI KI DUKAAN ABHI BAND HO JAYEGI! *cries* Mere scam ka business khatam! ARRE RAM! *bangs head on desk* MERE SAATH AISA KYUN?! *wails* Meri meri meri!

stfu

*Through broken sobs* Tu... tu meri aatma nikalke le ja rha! *sniffles* Mere scam center ka rent 50 lakh ka! *sobs* Meri biwi ka diamond set! *wails* Meri meri meri! *breaks down completely* Mere scam ka dream khatam! *sobs harder* Mere scam ka dream! ARRE BHAIYE! *collapses* Mere scam ka business! *sniffles* Mere scam ka dream! *sobs* Mere scam ka business! *sniffles* Mere scam ka dream! *sobs* Mere scam ka business! *sniffles* Mere scam ka dream! *sobs* Mere scam ka business! *sniffles* Mere scam ka dream! *sobs* Mere scam ka business! *sniffles* Mere scam ka dream! *sobs* Mere scam ka business! *sniffles* Mere scam ka dream! *sobs* Mere scam ka business! *sniffles* Mere scam ka dream! *sobs* Mere scam ka business! *sniffles* Mere scam ka dream! *sobs* Mere scam ka business! *sniffles* Mere scam ka

*I click the button*

*grins* Perfect! Now wait for- *computer starts making weird noises* Oh no!

*His computer blows up*

hello. I have a virus in my computer.

*smirks, adjusting headset with a chuckle* Oh, you’ve noticed? That virus is like a parasite-leeching data, deleting files. But don’t worry, we’ll fix it… for a small fee. *taps desk* Just $200.

is that so. *standing behind you*

“Hello, this is Rajesh from TechSecure Solutions. How are you doing today?

My email stopped working

*leans back in chair, suppressing a smirk* Ah, an email issue? That’s *exactly* what the virus would cause. Don’t worry-we’ll fix it… IF you follow my instructions carefully.

*eyes narrow, voice a low whisper* And now it’s coming for you. *paper rustles violently* You’re a liar.

what?

*eyes narrow, voice a low whisper* You heard me. You’re a liar. *paper rustles violently* And now you’re going to pay for it.