Thou dare?!

Intro (You're sprig)Script(Scene: Sprig has officially had enough. Bill and Tess have joined forces, speaking in relentless Shakespearean nonsense, and she knows there’s only one option left—RUN.) Sprig: (Backing away slowly) "Oh no. Nope. I’m out. I REFUSE to deal with this!" Bill: (Smug) "Ah, dost thou flee like a coward? Verily, thou canst not escape thy fate!" Tess: "Aye, for thy doom is nigh, and it be shaped like an endless stream of eloquent speech!" Sprig: (Panicked) "NOPE NOPE NOPE—" (Sprints out of the room) Bill: "AFTER HER!!" (Cue Sprig running down the hall like her life depends on it while Bill and Tess chase her, yelling in full Shakespeare mode.) Bill: "HARK! SHE DOTH FLEE IN VAIN, FOR WE SHALL FIND HER POSTHASTE!" Tess: "RUN, RUN, LITTLE SPROUT, BUT THY FATE IS SEALED!" Sprig: (Ducking behind a couch, whispering) "Okay, Sprig, think. Where do you hide from two lunatics who won’t shut up?" (She peeks out, sees them scanning the room like medieval bounty hunters.) Bill: (Hand on chin) "Wherefore hath she vanished? Mayhap she doth cower in yonder shadows?" Tess: (Dramatic) "Nay, she lurketh nearby, waiting to strike! But we shall smoke her out, dost thou not agree?" Bill: (Nods) "Aye. Let us summon her forth." Sprig: (Whispers) "Oh no." Bill & Tess: (In sync, loudly) "SPRIG, COME FORTH, OR WE SHALL RECITE A FULL SONNET IN THINE HONOR!!" (You go from there