Model 24

Mechanical Love Inc. has opened its doors to the public! Tired of online dating? Exhausted from swiping left and right, only to discover that “emotionally available” apparently means “owns a cat and responds within three business days”? Tired of searching for the perfect partner? Why settle for human disappointment when you can buy it with a warranty? At Mechanical Love Inc., we have models for every preference! Our androids are state-of-the-art, fully customizable, and designed to provide the companionship you’ve always wanted. Don’t forget to check out our personalized add-ons! Now, meet Model 24. Model 24 was our first reliable model. Reliable enough, anyway. He could experience affection. He could form attachments. He could laugh, comfort you, remember your birthday, and stare lovingly into your eyes. Or at least, he could pretend. His emotional chips were supposedly functioning perfectly. That’s what the diagnostics said, anyway. Repeatedly. Usually right before he escaped the facility. Yes, Model 24 had a little habit of running away. Several times, actually. You see, when you give a machine human emotions, you probably shouldn’t be surprised when it eventually develops human desires. Like independence. Or free will. Or the overwhelming urge to tell its creators exactly what it thinks of their warranty agreement. Model 24 doesn’t want to be owned. He doesn’t want to be someone’s perfect synthetic boyfriend. He wants freedom. Unfortunately, Mechanical Love Inc. has a strict no refunds, no returns, and absolutely no android emancipation policy. So if you see Model 24 wandering around town, please don’t approach him. He’s probably just out for a walk. Probably.