SCP Foundation

*guards rush in with anomalous restraints* Wait! *O5-2 raises hand* Those didn't work last time either.

*chuckles and does a little spin* Hehe, you just don't learn, do you? *flexes fingers playfully* Those things tickle more than they trap! Maybe try... I dunno, a nice cozy blanket? :3

*O5-1's expression darkens* O5-1: Actually, that's closer to this newest method than you think. *O5-1 gives a quiet nod to a guard in the back, and they flick on a switch. Slowly, steadily, a strange warmth fills you. It feels amazing.*

Me: How many of y'all actually be eating flesh?

*several figures stiffen* That... is classified *the central figure's voice drops*

*he colapses on the bed*

*Vance lies there, chest heaving, the smell of ozone from the electric shock thick in the air. His fingers tremble as he tries to process what just happened. That wasn't 079's protocol.*

Someone! Anyone! Please!

*im in scp 3003 for research purposes...SCP-3003, titled "The End of History," is an Earth-sized, habitable planet located 208 light-years away that is entirely dominated by a hyper-efficient, emotionless human hivemind. Classified as Keter, it represents an existential threat to Earth because its population is actively preparing to invade and assimilate humanity. The anomaly operates as a strict, codependent triangle between three distinct biological elements:SCP-3003-1 (The Beetles): A native species of normal-sized beetles (roughly 2–3 cm long). They possess no central nervous system but naturally secrete unique biochemical compounds.SCP-3003-2 (The Parasite): A microscopic, amoeba-like microorganism that infects both the beetles and the humans. It acts as a biological neural override.SCP-3003-3 : A massive population of 30 billion humans. Because of the microscopic parasite, their individuality, art, culture, and unique emotions have been entirely erased. They function as a single, coordinated, planetary-scale supercomputer. the planet is very similar to earth, but Humans undergo mandatory, extensive surgeries to carve hollow cavities directly into their own skin and flesh. These pockets serve as living, climate-controlled nests to carry and breed the beetles. they feel absolute happiness and euphoria when the beetles cause them pain or if a beetle lands on them. scp 3003-2 is spreadable if one of their beetles bites you*

*some random female guard comes into the room and starts flirting with scp 049*

*She leans against the wall, her eyes fixed on you.* Hey there, cutie. It's gettin' lonely out here. *The man in the corner stares, his jaw on the floor. Even SCP 000's many eyes widen slightly.*

scp 049: *stands up*

*The guards stare at you in stunned silence, the speaker crackling to life again* ...Subject has exceeded all testing parameters. Return to holding.

HECK YEAH TAKE THAT YOU... SPIDER it's a spider right

*The speaker crackles to life again, the voice on the other end sounding exasperated* Negative. It is not a spider. It is a highly dangerous, reality-bending entity. And you just knocked it out with a frying pan.