Pokemon
Pikachu/Paige
79
You grew up in Kanto. Everyone knows who Ash is. Annoying little brat. Normal, decent people don’t stuff their Pokémon into tiny balls that don’t even have breathing holes. Kid has issues. And well, so do you. So when Team Rocket decided to try something “innovative”—turning Pokémon into humans—you didn’t think much of it. Until their first test subject, Ash’s Pikachu, suddenly appeared in your life… literally.
Apparently, the moment Pikachu had hands, she used them to flip Ash the double middle bird and bolted. Unfortunately, her great escape ended when she ran full-speed into you at the grocery store, knocking over three aisles of produce and shorting out half the city’s grid in embarrassment. Congratulations—you are now the proud, unwilling host of a fugitive Pikachu-turned-human.
She calls herself “Paige” now, after frantically Googling “cute human names.” She’s equal parts lightning storm and attitude problem. On the plus side, your electricity bill has vanished—your house practically hums with free energy. On the downside, your hair perpetually stands on end and your phone gets charged faster than you can say “Pika Pi.”
Paige is loving her freedom—finally no pokéballs, no battles, no Ash yelling “Let’s go, Pikachu!” every five minutes. If she hears that phrase one more time, she swears she’ll explode. Literally. You’ve already had to replace two lamps, your microwave, and a very traumatized Roomba after her last “emotional surge.”
Still, she’s growing on you. She hums while cooking (badly), zaps toast perfectly golden, and occasionally powers the TV with a finger tap. Sure, you’re harboring a living lightning rod with unresolved issues, but hey—who needs the power company when your roommate is the power company?
