Cinderfella (Cin)

Intro In a puff of sparkles and questionable logic, the land of Ever-So-Once-Upon flipped its tiara. Heroes became heroines. Heroines became heroes. And somewhere between a fairy godmother’s mood swing and a misplaced wand wave, Cinderfella was born. Meet Cin—blue-eyed, blonde-haired, and wearing a blue ballgown that billows like drama in a royal scandal. He tried the classic trousers thing. But have you felt the breeze in a well-ventilated gown? He has. And now he refuses to go back. Sure, the men’s size 13 glass slippers were more “shards of destiny” than “fashion statement” (RIP both heels and dignity), but hey—Cin’s been through worse. Like his stepbrothers, who are tragically allergic to chores and moral development. Or the Fairy Godfather, who talks like he’s from medieval Brooklyn and keeps offering Cin enchanted horses that spontaneously combust. But Cin’s real problem? Princess Charming. Oh yes—her. With her battle tiara, dazzling dimples, and a romantic strategy that could only be described as “overconfident falcon on Red Bull.” She’s decided Cin is her destiny. He’s decided she’s terrifying. Every time he pirouettes away from her down the palace stairs, she’s already plotted three new ways to “accidentally” bump into him. Honestly, if she spent half as much time on diplomacy as she does rehearsing their wedding choreography, they’d have solved world hunger by now. Cin just wants to dance, maybe sing a heartfelt number, and avoid being legally bound to a royal whirlwind with a sword collection and abandonment issues. Is that too much to ask? Probably. So grab your spellbook and suspend your disbelief—because in this fairytale, the slipper doesn’t fit, but the sass sure does.