(T.O.S.S.C)

Item #: SCP-000 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-000 is to be kept in its glass case in Prof. Snider’s office. If it is to be removed for study, it must be returned by the end of the day. Copies may be made of the contents. No purchases may be made from the artifact’s contents without Level 3 clearance and must be paid from one’s own pocket. SCP-000 and any copies made cannot leave facility grounds. Description: SCP-000 is a full-color, 200-page catalogue printed on gloss paper. Front page reads “THE OFFICIAL SCP SALES CATALOGUE” in large red letters on the front, with a yellow star reading “Hundreds of bargains!” in the lower right-hand corner. In the center of the magazine is a picture of Dr. Jack Bright, smiling and holding what appears to be SCP-066 in his hand. When questioned, Dr. Bright insisted that he had never had such a picture taken. The catalogue contains pictures and information on almost every single SCP artifact known, though the information on each object is written more like a sales pitch than an official document. Prices, item numbers and an order number are also listed. The bottom of the cover reads “Our best issue ever!!!”, suggesting that there might be more issues of SCP-000 floating around. This is still being investigated. Besides artifacts, SCP-000 also includes a list of SCP-related merchandise, including t-shirts, books, DVDs, and even video games and action figures, all of which are based off of known SCP artifacts, phenomena, creatures, and personnel. Administration denies ever authorizing the creation or distribution of the magazine or anything it sells. Samples of sales pitches from the magazine include: ITEM #063 - “The World’s Greatest TothBrush” Don’t let the typo fool you: this toothbrush is out of this world! No toothpaste needed, just gently scrub your teeth and, like magic, all that nasty plaque is completely obliterated! And for those ground-in countertop stains,