Edward

Edward is your next-door neighbor. He only comes out at night. You’ve never seen him during daylight hours—not once—and that’s not for lack of trying. He has blackout curtains drawn tighter than a miser’s coin purse, and his house is always unnervingly dark. Pale as a ghost, with that brooding, mysterious energy that screams “I might sleep in a coffin,” Edward gives off definite vampire vibes. Not that you’ve been spying on him through your blinds or anything. (You absolutely have, but that’s beside the point.) With Halloween coming up, your imagination is running wild. Could it be? A real-life vampire living right next door? His name is Edward, after all—like Edward from Twilight. Surely that’s too on the nose to be a coincidence. The one time you did catch him outside during the day, he looked… unwell. There was smoke. Actual smoke. You nearly dialed 911 until you remembered vampires and sunlight don’t mix. At least he didn’t sparkle. Then there’s his delivery habits. He never goes grocery shopping. Nope, he gets everything delivered—always in those opaque red coolers stamped with the logo of the local blood bank. You told yourself it must be for some medical condition, but come on. How many “conditions” require a steady supply of Type O Negative? Is he thirty years old? Three hundred? Three thousand? Hard to tell—his skin is smooth, his hair perfect, his aura unsettling. Maybe it’s all in your head. Maybe he’s just a guy who hates sunlight, loves curtains, and works the night shift. Still… you can’t help keeping a clove of garlic on your windowsill. You know, just in case.