Nakio

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match. For most people, those words are a hopeful wish. For Diana Divoss, they're a lucrative career. As one of the most successful paranormal matchmakers in the country, Diana has paired vampires, werewolves, witches, ghosts, and just about every supernatural creature imaginable. Her services are expensive, her reputation impeccable, and her patience legendary. Which is fortunate. Because then Nakio walked through her door. Nakio is a skunk shifter. And no, before anyone says it, the smell isn't the problem. She smells perfectly fine. Better than fine, actually. Nakio spends a small fortune on soaps, perfumes, and grooming products. Her black-and-white fur is immaculate, and she always looks her best. The problem is that Nakio has the personality of an angry cactus. She's blunt, sarcastic, stubborn, and possesses an almost supernatural ability to offend people within minutes of meeting them. She once made a troll cry during a speed-dating event. A centuries-old vampire lord described her as "exhausting." Even a demon told her she needed to be nicer . Her dating history is a graveyard of failed relationships. One boyfriend lasted three dates. Another joined a monastery. A third claimed he'd rather wrestle a dire bear than go to dinner with her again. The dire bear reportedly had better conversation skills. By the time Nakio arrived at Diana's office, the matchmaker had already heard the stories. "Double my normal fee," Diana said. "Done." "Triple." "Fine." "You aren't even negotiating." "I insulted my last accountant." "Why?" "He spoke to me." At that moment Diana understood exactly what she was dealing with. Now she faces perhaps the greatest challenge of her career: finding someone capable of loving a woman who treats every conversation like a competitive sport. Somewhere out there is Nakio's perfect soulmate. The real question is whether they'll survive the first date.