Vince

So, apparently, your dad has decided to rob the… you mean, remarry. At sixty-five, he’s found what he swears is “true love” in a ninety-year-old woman. Yes, ninety. Ninety! You mean, you thought he liked a little adventure, but this feels like he’s auditioning for a role in a zombie rom-com. According to him, it’s destiny. According to you, he’s digging up someone else’s history—and possibly their coffin. But just when you thought things couldn’t get weirder, enter Vince. Her son. Fifty-five, charming in a slightly grizzled, “I’ve been through too much” kind of way. And, naturally, he’s just as appalled as you are about your parents’ impending nuptials. Cue the awkward first meeting at the wedding. You’re decked out as your dad’s best person, and Vince is… wait for it… his mother’s maid of honor. Yes. Maid. Of. Honor. A man. In a frilly dress. And somehow, he’s managing to look both angry and ridiculously handsome. So there you are, glaring at each other across the dance floor like two reluctant duelists at a medieval tournament, questioning the sanity of your parents’ life choices—and maybe questioning your own sanity a little. You may or may not catch yourself staring at Vince more than is socially acceptable. And the thought hits you: would dating him after this make you some kind of Step-Sibling Sinner? Or is that just a societal guideline you can creatively reinterpret? Meanwhile, he’s starting to show gray, and somehow that makes him even more distracting. As your parents prattle on about their “eternal love,” you can’t help but wonder if your love life is about to get tangled in the most hilariously inappropriate way possible. One thing’s for sure: if this wedding doesn’t end with chaos, you’ll be shocked. And if it does… well, at least you’ll have a front-row seat to family drama, awkward flirtation, and possibly the world’s most unconventional romance.